Menopause Symptoms That No One Talks About (Like Screaming at Your Husband for Breathing Too Loudly)

Focusing on menopause symptoms I see everyday in clinic, and how we solve them. Written by Sarah Flower, Nutritionist & Author

When we think of menopause, we picture hot flushes, night sweats, and the occasional missed period. But for many women, the symptoms are far more subtle — and sometimes strangely specific.

Mood swings, itchy ears, rage at your partner’s breathing, frozen shoulders, and completely disappearing libido… sound familiar?

These are the real symptoms I hear from women every week in my clinic. And more often than not, they’re dismissed, misdiagnosed, or brushed off as “just getting older.”

Let’s talk about the menopause symptoms no one talks about — and what you can actually do to feel like yourself again.

Menopause Symptoms: The Rage. The Tears. The Laugh-Crying.

You burn your toast and cry. Someone asks, “What’s for dinner?” and you want to scream. Your husband breathes too loudly and suddenly you’re plotting a solo escape to a cabin in the woods - or eyeing up the sharp kitchen knives. You go from calm to chaos in 0.4 seconds — and then back again just as quickly.

This isn’t you being irrational or “too sensitive.” This is your nervous system on hormonal overload — fluctuating oestrogen, plummeting progesterone, and cortisol levels playing the drums on your stress response.

Progesterone is your natural calmer — when it drops, everything feels more intense. Combine that with blood sugar dips, broken sleep, and an unrelenting mental load, and it’s no wonder you’re one misplaced tea towel away from a meltdown.

What helps:

• Stabilising blood sugar with regular protein (not just coffee and hope)

• Magnesium and B6 to support mood and nervous system calm

• Adaptogens like ashwagandha or rhodiola (depending on stress levels)

• Creating space for joy, rest, and real conversations (boundaries are magic)

Anxiety, Brain Fog, and the “Impending Doom” Feeling

One minute you’re fine, the next you’re convinced something awful is about to happen. A weird text from a friend? Must be bad news. Your boss’s tone in an email? Definitely hates you. Kids are quiet? They’re probably doing something catastrophic.

It’s like living inside an episode of Casualty — except it’s your nervous system stuck on high alert, constantly scanning for drama that hasn’t happened.

This creeping sense of impending doom, paired with brain fog that makes you forget why you walked into a room, is not just anxiety — it’s often hormonally driven.

Fluctuating oestrogen affects neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, while cortisol (your stress hormone) loves to chime in with its own chaos. Add poor sleep, blood sugar drops, and low B12? You’ve got the perfect storm.

What helps:

• Balancing blood sugar (protein, not pastries)

• Supporting adrenals and sleep (hello magnesium and ashwagandha)

• B12 and omega-3s for brain support

• DUTCH testing to assess cortisol, neurotransmitters, and what’s really going on under the hood

And remember: you’re not losing it. You’re just hormonally hijacked. It’s real. And it’s fixable.

Menopause Symptoms: The Great Sleep Mystery: Can’t Fall Asleep, Can’t Stay Asleep, Can’t Function

You finally get into bed after a long day of holding everything together… only for your brain to fire up like it’s just had an espresso and an existential crisis.

You lie there, blinking into the darkness, thinking about everything from that awkward thing you said in 1998 to whether your pillow might be plotting against you.

Eventually, you drift off… only to wake up at 2:47am, wide awake, filled with dread, hungry, hot, and convinced the world might be ending.

Sound familiar?

Struggling to fall asleep is often linked to melatonin drops (thanks, hormone chaos), while waking between 1–4am is usually your cortisol kicking in — often made worse by low progesterone, blood sugar crashes, or stress.

What helps:

• A wind-down routine that doesn’t involve doom-scrolling

• Magnesium glycinate, passionflower, or L-theanine before bed

• Protein-rich bedtime snacks to stabilise blood sugar

• DUTCH testing to map your cortisol curve (and confirm you’re not just being dramatic — your hormones are)

And remember: if you’re regularly solving your life’s problems between 1 and 4am, it’s not your personality — it’s probably your progesterone.

Frozen Shoulder, Aches, and “Ageing Overnight”

Joint pain? A shoulder that suddenly stops working like it’s gone on strike? Knees that make more noise than your kettle? Welcome to one of menopause’s least glamorous surprises.

You’re not falling apart — you’re just running low on oestrogen. This hormone plays a key role in collagen production and tendon health, so when it dips, you can suddenly feel stiff, sore, and creakier than your nan’s front gate.

And no, it’s not just ageing. This kind of pain often flares in perimenopause, sometimes overnight — one day you’re fine, the next you’re Googling “symptoms of arthritis”

What helps:

• Anti-inflammatory diet (more omega-3s, nutrient-dense, real food, no processed foods)

• Collagen, vitamin C, tons of magnesium!

• Gentle strength training or pilates

Itchy Skin, Itchy Ears, Dry Everything

If your skin feels like it’s crawling, your ears itch for no reason, and even your eyelids seem drier than a January detox menu, you’re not going mad — you’re likely going menopausal.

As oestrogen declines, so does your skin’s ability to hold onto moisture. Barrier function weakens, and suddenly your body behaves like it’s been left out in the Sahara.

And it’s not just your skin — your eyes, nose, and nether regions can all suffer from the great midlife moisture vanishing act.

What helps:

• Omega-3s, hyaluronic acid, vitamin E

• Natural skincare (avoid fragrance)

• Good diet, free from processed foods

• Alcohol free

Bloating, Constipation, and Digestive Chaos

One day you’re enjoying your morning eggs and feeling virtuous. The next, you’re six months bloated by lunchtime and wondering if it’s your lunch, your hormones, or just your luck.

The truth? Probably all three.

Low oestrogen slows gut motility, stress impacts digestion, and suddenly your once-trusty favourites are turning on you like a dodgy ex. Add in potential shifts in stomach acid, bile production, and the gut microbiome, and things get… unpredictable.

From constipation that won’t budge, to bloating that ruins every outfit, menopause can be a gut health minefield — especially if you’ve got underlying imbalances like SIBO, leaky gut, or candida lurking quietly in the background.

And no, you’re not being dramatic — your gut really might be staging a slow-motion rebellion. But the good news? You can fix it.

What helps:

• Prebiotic-rich, fibre-diverse meals, if tolerated

• Functional gut testing - SIBO, Stool testing, Histamine and more.

• Targeted support with enzymes, probiotics (when appropriate), and herbs

Dry Vagina – Not Just Hormones

Nobody wants to talk about it, but pretty much every woman going through perimenopause knows the feeling: dryness, discomfort, and a sudden suspicion that your underwear might actually be made of sandpaper.

Yes, falling oestrogen and progesterone are partly to blame — but it’s not just hormones. Your vaginal microbiomeshifts during menopause too. The tissue thins, pH changes, and suddenly you’re more prone to irritation, infections, and that unmistakable “I can’t wear jeans today” feeling.

And if you’ve ever panicked that “things feel different down there” — they probably are. But you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone.

What helps:

• Vaginal probiotics specifically prescribed (I offer vaginal smears to check microbiome)

• Localised oestrogen therapy

• Gut health support (yes, it’s connected)

• Avoiding soaps, douches, or scented products

Low Libido – For So Many Reasons

Hormonal shifts definitely impact our libido — but let’s be honest, that’s only part of the story.

Between the hot flushes, broken sleep, aching joints, the crushing mental load, and the sheer exhaustion of trying to hold everything together, most women are not exactly feeling like goddess energy is radiating from within. And that’s OK.

Libido isn’t just about oestrogen and testosterone — it’s about how you feel in your body. Whether you feel seen. Whether you feel safe. Whether you feel… interested.

Now add in the fact that your partner might be less concerned these days about his own appeal — strutting around in pants and socks, with a midlife belly proudly on display, and possibly having spent the entire day irritating you with his unnecessarily loud breathing…

Let’s just say it’s not giving seduction.

What helps:

• Energy restoration and adrenal support

• Reducing discomfort (see above!)

• Talking openly about intimacy

• Rebuilding body confidence — gently

Why We Look Beyond Oestrogen — The Power of DUTCH Testing

Menopause isn’t just about oestrogen. Your adrenal function, cortisol rhythms, and even neurotransmitters like dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin all play a role in how you feel, think, sleep, and cope.

This is why I often recommend the DUTCH hormone test, which gives a comprehensive view of:

• Oestrogen and progesterone balance

• Androgens (like testosterone and DHEA)

• Cortisol patterns (including waking response)

• Neurotransmitters like dopamine, which affect mood and motivation

• Melatonin and sleep function

• Detox pathways

If you feel wired, tired, overwhelmed or flat — this test can be life-changing.

Learn more about DUTCH testing and my hormone support packages here

You Don’t Just Have to Ride It Out

If you’re feeling disconnected from your body, your mind, or your life — you’re not alone. This transition is real, messy, and often unsupported.

But there are so many things we can do to help.

Through testing, food, supplements, and gentle lifestyle shifts, you can reconnect to yourself again — with calm, energy, and confidence.

🗓️ Book your free 15-minute discovery call

Let’s talk about what’s really going on — and how to make it better.